Why I haven't written any blogs

I first thought that I would keep a blog, a journal about my journey into my new life. I hate writing and I am great at starting things but not finishing them. I have many entries that just did not get finished. SO I am setting a goal to write 1 entry a week. More if I feel it. I have thoughts going through my head that maybe if I wrote things would come clearer.

First punishment

This was written on August 28, 2010

I experienced my first punishment (if you really can call it that) last night before I left my Masters house. Earlier in the week I confessed that I had masturbated without permission. It was 3 am and I couldn’t sleep and was horny so my thought was it would be okay go ahead. Nope no way, I couldn’t make myself cum because I was thinking that I would be disappointing Master K. Guilt came over me and the next morning about 7:30am  I text Master K and let him know. He doesn’t start work until 8am so I figured he would get right back to me. He let me wait 3pm before I got the response “You will be punished”. Oh boy something new for me.

All weekend I waited for Master K to say something, to tell me it was time, to scold me but he said nothing. Since this is all new to me I didn’t know if I should remind him that I was to be punished, he is the Master after all. Finally it was almost time for me to leave and it just didn’t sit right that I hadn’t been punished in some form. Maybe it was the guilt of knowing I have disappointed him. I spoke up and said that I needed to be punished before I went home. Master K told me to lie down on the bed & bite the pillow. Bite the pillow I was thinking that was a strange order.  Well it didn’t take long before I realized why Master K told me to do that. He got out his black flogger (the punishment flogger) and I don’t know how many lashes he gave me but it I know the strokes were different, different in intensity & quickness, more deliberate if you know what I mean. Before he was done…I was laughing. I don’t know why but yep I was laughing so it seemed more like playing than punishment.

In my mind I think I should have been brought to tears. I was being punished after all. Sometimes I just don’t understand why I react the way I do.